For some reason science and logic have yet to explain, I, as a parent, can never locate a writing utensil when I need one. I've tried drawer organizers, pencil holders, I even splurged online and bought a magnetized pen holder for the refrigerator. Still, it's inevitable, just when Im on the phone, having to take down an important number, not a pen or pencil to be found.
What I really need is to find out what kind of device my daughter, L, posesses within her little 4 year old fingers that attracts pens like a magnet. Because while I can't find a stub of a broken crayon, L has a working knowledge of every area in this house that hides a tube of inky mass destruction.
Perfect Example:
This afternoon, I stopped her just as she was preparing, ink pen in her chubby fist, to redecorate her room. I put the pen up, left for work, leaving her with my sister, confident my walls were safe.
Clearly, 4 years as a mom have taught me nothing.
When I returned home, I was informed that a hurricane had hit the house...a Category L as my husband calls it. Clever.
L had found not one, but TWO sharpie markers, and decided to give our wall, part of her dresser, our room, and herself the ol' Picasso treatment. I'll give her this much, she is thorough and she's quick.
I had a late meeting, so I have yet to see the damage to her room, or her face. My sister said its just a little marker......permanent marker.....right across her face.
Did I mention school picture day is tomorrow?
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Moms Hurricane Supply List
In the event of a hurricane, whether or not you evacuate, it's important to have certain supplies on hand. As a mom, it's your job to fight the hysterical masses for the last loaf of bread and a pack of double A batteries.
Now, we live in North Carolina where the typical reaction to a Hurricane is "Meh....add an extra loaf of bread to the cart, maybe pick up some wine."
So seeing the shelves bare, not a Durecell or a loaf of Sunbeam to be found, let's me know seasoned Southerns are taking this seriously, therefore I as a Northern transplant should completely lose it, right???? Its the same reaction you see when the south gets a snow dusting."DEFCON 5!!!!!!!! We've got flakes people....it's sticking to the ground!!!!!!! Buy all the bread....all of it!!!!!!!"
Sorry Southerns, I couldn't help poking a little fun.
I get it, you're not used to snow, I'm still not comfortable with 130 mph winds and the potential risk of being hit by a flying mailbox.
Anyway, whether you're a seasoned pro or this is your first hurricane, here are some supplies you should have in your emergency kit.
Enough Non perishable food to last 3-4 days. This is not the time to go organic people, this is whats going to keep your kids happy for the next 2 days of being stuck indoors. Think Chef Boyardee, cookies, chips, sandwiches, anything that doesn't need to be heated. And for crying out loud....make sure you have a hand held can opener. Last time we had a hurricane, we lost power, I went to open a can of soup only to find, surprisingly, an electric can opener is pretty much useless.
Bottled Water- Dasani has quite the racket going, let me tell you. Seriously, save your milk jugs and fill them with tap water. Enough water to drink, wash, and sanitize. I don't know the ratio of water jugs to humans and I'm too lazy to google it. Look it up.
Batteries- Every toy in your house has one, and you won't be using the television just steal the remote batteries.
Flashlights-The main purpose for these is so your kids can play laser tag and burn them out in the first hour.
Candles-We have 3 children under 4, two of whom make it their mission to climb the most vertical surfaces in the house, we'll use candles when I want to have a panic attack.
Games and activities for the kids-These last precisely 15 minutes. Before you lose power, mega charge every electronic device you own, and keep it plugged in as long as its safe. Trust me on this one.
Clean up around your yard and secure items that may blow away-Kick the Fisher Price crap into the shed. Full disclosure, still not sure what we are going to do with our trampoline, if anyone knows how to secure that sucker, please let me know. On an unrelated note, our neighbors may be gifted a trampoline this weekend, just a heads up.
Weather Forecast-check the weather frequently...so they can give you the same update 20 times in a row, and spend an entire episode of General Hospital explaining exactly how slowly a hurricane works....here's a hint..... it's windy, soggy, and loud.
Alcohol-This is not required, just recommended. A good rule of thumb, take the number of children in your home times the number of days you estimate being confined and multiply it. So 3 kids X 3days=9 bottles of wine. That should do it. Aso, maybe look up the number for your local A.A.
Oh, That reminds me. Medication. In addition to any Rx medications, stock up on Tylenol. If you have children and you're not down with self medicating with Alcohol, you'll need it. If you are, you'll need it for the hangover.
In all seriousness, If you're currently in the path of Hurricane Matthew I bid you farewell until the Internet is reconnected and wish you and yours a safe weekend, stay dry, love each other, take the time to reconnect. Play a board game with your little ones, snuggle up with a book, tell stories, munch on some junk food, spend some romantic time with your spouse (hurricanes cover up noise...Hee Hee). Hugs to all, and remember, stay away from downed power lines!!!!!!!!!
Now, we live in North Carolina where the typical reaction to a Hurricane is "Meh....add an extra loaf of bread to the cart, maybe pick up some wine."
So seeing the shelves bare, not a Durecell or a loaf of Sunbeam to be found, let's me know seasoned Southerns are taking this seriously, therefore I as a Northern transplant should completely lose it, right???? Its the same reaction you see when the south gets a snow dusting."DEFCON 5!!!!!!!! We've got flakes people....it's sticking to the ground!!!!!!! Buy all the bread....all of it!!!!!!!"
Sorry Southerns, I couldn't help poking a little fun.
I get it, you're not used to snow, I'm still not comfortable with 130 mph winds and the potential risk of being hit by a flying mailbox.
Anyway, whether you're a seasoned pro or this is your first hurricane, here are some supplies you should have in your emergency kit.
Enough Non perishable food to last 3-4 days. This is not the time to go organic people, this is whats going to keep your kids happy for the next 2 days of being stuck indoors. Think Chef Boyardee, cookies, chips, sandwiches, anything that doesn't need to be heated. And for crying out loud....make sure you have a hand held can opener. Last time we had a hurricane, we lost power, I went to open a can of soup only to find, surprisingly, an electric can opener is pretty much useless.
Bottled Water- Dasani has quite the racket going, let me tell you. Seriously, save your milk jugs and fill them with tap water. Enough water to drink, wash, and sanitize. I don't know the ratio of water jugs to humans and I'm too lazy to google it. Look it up.
Batteries- Every toy in your house has one, and you won't be using the television just steal the remote batteries.
Flashlights-The main purpose for these is so your kids can play laser tag and burn them out in the first hour.
Candles-We have 3 children under 4, two of whom make it their mission to climb the most vertical surfaces in the house, we'll use candles when I want to have a panic attack.
Games and activities for the kids-These last precisely 15 minutes. Before you lose power, mega charge every electronic device you own, and keep it plugged in as long as its safe. Trust me on this one.
Clean up around your yard and secure items that may blow away-Kick the Fisher Price crap into the shed. Full disclosure, still not sure what we are going to do with our trampoline, if anyone knows how to secure that sucker, please let me know. On an unrelated note, our neighbors may be gifted a trampoline this weekend, just a heads up.
Weather Forecast-check the weather frequently...so they can give you the same update 20 times in a row, and spend an entire episode of General Hospital explaining exactly how slowly a hurricane works....here's a hint..... it's windy, soggy, and loud.
Alcohol-This is not required, just recommended. A good rule of thumb, take the number of children in your home times the number of days you estimate being confined and multiply it. So 3 kids X 3days=9 bottles of wine. That should do it. Aso, maybe look up the number for your local A.A.
Oh, That reminds me. Medication. In addition to any Rx medications, stock up on Tylenol. If you have children and you're not down with self medicating with Alcohol, you'll need it. If you are, you'll need it for the hangover.
In all seriousness, If you're currently in the path of Hurricane Matthew I bid you farewell until the Internet is reconnected and wish you and yours a safe weekend, stay dry, love each other, take the time to reconnect. Play a board game with your little ones, snuggle up with a book, tell stories, munch on some junk food, spend some romantic time with your spouse (hurricanes cover up noise...Hee Hee). Hugs to all, and remember, stay away from downed power lines!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Why I'm a member of the One and done club (for now)
I always saw myself having a house full of babies, until I gave birth to my daughter. As she neared her first birthday, the inevitable questions started from friends about adding to our family. I reasoned that I never planned to have children close in age. As she passed her second and third birthdays, and as we approach her fourth, that explanantion no longer satisfies the curious.
My explanantion now is simple: we are not planning any additions. It doesn't mean it's impossible a few years down the road, but for now, we are perfectly happy with our small family of three. Our daughter is past the infant and toddler stage, the diapers are long gone, replaced by preschool book bags. No more sleepless nights, we now get adorable wake up calls and snuggly mornings.
This past summer, we were blessed to have my sister and her two small children stay with us while her husband pursues a career in the military. J who is 2, and lil L, who is 10 months, are adorable and sweet. They are also a good example of why im putting off baby number two as long as possible.
My sister is super mom, handling both children's needs and demands like a pro. No easy task, considering one is in the dreaded terrible twos and the other is a newly mobile infant bent on conquering everything obstacle in her path.
I have no such talent, barely able to keep up with my one preschooler, I shudder to think of adding the demands of a tiny infant.
I've loved the opportunity to spend time with my sister, and my nephew and niece. As they prepare to leave, I know it may be a long time before they are in our neck of the woods again. I'm soaking up all the baby and toddler cuddles, and hopefully get any lingering desires for another out of my system. And if that doesn't work, I just remind myself that the difference
between having one child and three:
MEALTIMES: One Child: Family Dinners at the table in which you have time to model manners for your child.
Three Children: We no longer have a table, there wasn't room for all the high chairs. We now have a Finding Dory Kiddie table. Mealtime has become a game of Chase and duck.
TRAVELING: One Child: want to Go for a drive, just snap and go,,maybe a change of clothes if you're still toilet training.
Three Children: Pack half the house, and while you strap one child in, lose track of the other. Cram everything in the car. Drive ten feet. And screech to a halt as you realize something was inevitably left behind. As long as it's not the infant on the roof of your car, you're in good shape.
BEDTIME:
One Child: If you're lucky, Snuggling, several books, and time to yourself once lights go out.
Three Children: Bedtime has become,a tag team sport that usually ends with one child passed out on the sofa, one parent crammed into a princess toddler bed, and other left to clean up the kitchen, and scrap the mashed potatoes off dorys face. (see mealtimes)
SHOWERING:
One Child: if you're lucky, they take a long enough nap for you to body shower.
Three Children: Forget it. If you want to shower, you better embrace your inner feline and lick yourself clean.
FINANCIAL:
One Child: Even if you're not rich an only child is bound to get more advantages when the families income isn't spread out amongst 4 siblings.
Three Children: Money? Isn't that the paper stuff we used to use to...whats that called? Purchase things besides diapers?
VACATIONS:
One Child: Once they are old enough, Vacations can be a a wonderful bonding experience.
Three Children: Combine all of the above, but add in 3 hours on a plane, a complete lack of daily routine, and seldom seen grandparents who can't help but over indulge those "little angels", and you'll understand why the phrase family vacation is right up there with "preschool acceptance letter, it's just a viral infection, and when are you having another " as the most despised phrases in parent world.
Seriously, love these babies and thumbs up to my sister for her super mom skills, and her desire for more.
For now, I will remain member of the one and done club. And if I ever decide to leave, I'll know who to turn to for advice.
To my Sister, one of the best moms I know, we will miss you all and wish you the best in this new journey.
My explanantion now is simple: we are not planning any additions. It doesn't mean it's impossible a few years down the road, but for now, we are perfectly happy with our small family of three. Our daughter is past the infant and toddler stage, the diapers are long gone, replaced by preschool book bags. No more sleepless nights, we now get adorable wake up calls and snuggly mornings.
This past summer, we were blessed to have my sister and her two small children stay with us while her husband pursues a career in the military. J who is 2, and lil L, who is 10 months, are adorable and sweet. They are also a good example of why im putting off baby number two as long as possible.
My sister is super mom, handling both children's needs and demands like a pro. No easy task, considering one is in the dreaded terrible twos and the other is a newly mobile infant bent on conquering everything obstacle in her path.
I have no such talent, barely able to keep up with my one preschooler, I shudder to think of adding the demands of a tiny infant.
I've loved the opportunity to spend time with my sister, and my nephew and niece. As they prepare to leave, I know it may be a long time before they are in our neck of the woods again. I'm soaking up all the baby and toddler cuddles, and hopefully get any lingering desires for another out of my system. And if that doesn't work, I just remind myself that the difference
between having one child and three:
MEALTIMES: One Child: Family Dinners at the table in which you have time to model manners for your child.
Three Children: We no longer have a table, there wasn't room for all the high chairs. We now have a Finding Dory Kiddie table. Mealtime has become a game of Chase and duck.
TRAVELING: One Child: want to Go for a drive, just snap and go,,maybe a change of clothes if you're still toilet training.
Three Children: Pack half the house, and while you strap one child in, lose track of the other. Cram everything in the car. Drive ten feet. And screech to a halt as you realize something was inevitably left behind. As long as it's not the infant on the roof of your car, you're in good shape.
BEDTIME:
One Child: If you're lucky, Snuggling, several books, and time to yourself once lights go out.
Three Children: Bedtime has become,a tag team sport that usually ends with one child passed out on the sofa, one parent crammed into a princess toddler bed, and other left to clean up the kitchen, and scrap the mashed potatoes off dorys face. (see mealtimes)
SHOWERING:
One Child: if you're lucky, they take a long enough nap for you to body shower.
Three Children: Forget it. If you want to shower, you better embrace your inner feline and lick yourself clean.
FINANCIAL:
One Child: Even if you're not rich an only child is bound to get more advantages when the families income isn't spread out amongst 4 siblings.
Three Children: Money? Isn't that the paper stuff we used to use to...whats that called? Purchase things besides diapers?
VACATIONS:
One Child: Once they are old enough, Vacations can be a a wonderful bonding experience.
Three Children: Combine all of the above, but add in 3 hours on a plane, a complete lack of daily routine, and seldom seen grandparents who can't help but over indulge those "little angels", and you'll understand why the phrase family vacation is right up there with "preschool acceptance letter, it's just a viral infection, and when are you having another " as the most despised phrases in parent world.
Seriously, love these babies and thumbs up to my sister for her super mom skills, and her desire for more.
For now, I will remain member of the one and done club. And if I ever decide to leave, I'll know who to turn to for advice.
To my Sister, one of the best moms I know, we will miss you all and wish you the best in this new journey.
Friday, August 12, 2016
Im in the closet
As in cleaning out this disaster of a walk in closet. A serious hoarding issue is the only logical explanation here. How do three people accumulate so much junk over 8 years??!!!
Let me say first. I started this project well motivated. I emptied out the closet completely. Its at this point I realize how screwed I am when the pile grows too big for our king size bed and I have to start piling deal on the floor.
There is no turning back now, so I start the tedious task of sorting everything into keep, donate, throw away, and why did I buy this???
After an hour of this, I have a few questions for my past self, and my husband.
#1. Hubby, why do you have 18 identical black shirts? In starting to wonder if you moonlight as a mafia assasin. Not going to lie, that's kind of hot.
#2. Why is there a,bottle of delsom cough syrup in with the Christmas decorations?
#3. Why do I own a peasant skirt? Was I drink buying on Amazon again?
#4. There are 15 phone chargers, yet I can never find one when I need it.
#5. Found my laptop charger, too bad we don't have the laptop anymore.
#6. What's with all the shoes? Do you really need one for every outfit you own? Hubby, I'm talking to you, 5 pairs of boots, really?
#7.All this biker gear, hubby I know you used to have a motorcycle, but spiked collars, leather, gloves, why dont,you wear any of that for me????
By the end, I had given up and was busy hiding in the closet, eating frosting out of the container with a sppoon, looking through old pictures and....
There's a photo of hubby in full biker gear, some blond, skinny skank on the back. Who is this homewrecker and why does hubby have this picture still????!!!!
Oh wait, that's me 8 years and 30 pre-baby pounds ago....annnnnddd we are slowly setting down the frosting....
After an hour of this, I have a few questions for my past self, and my husband.
#1. Hubby, why do you have 18 identical black shirts? In starting to wonder if you moonlight as a mafia assasin. Not going to lie, that's kind of hot.
#2. Why is there a,bottle of delsom cough syrup in with the Christmas decorations?
#3. Why do I own a peasant skirt? Was I drink buying on Amazon again?
#4. There are 15 phone chargers, yet I can never find one when I need it.
#5. Found my laptop charger, too bad we don't have the laptop anymore.
#6. What's with all the shoes? Do you really need one for every outfit you own? Hubby, I'm talking to you, 5 pairs of boots, really?
#7.All this biker gear, hubby I know you used to have a motorcycle, but spiked collars, leather, gloves, why dont,you wear any of that for me????
By the end, I had given up and was busy hiding in the closet, eating frosting out of the container with a sppoon, looking through old pictures and....
There's a photo of hubby in full biker gear, some blond, skinny skank on the back. Who is this homewrecker and why does hubby have this picture still????!!!!
Oh wait, that's me 8 years and 30 pre-baby pounds ago....annnnnddd we are slowly setting down the frosting....
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