Raising a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart. 

You have to be tough, you have to be persistent, you have to be their voice and their advocate. 

As much as we like to believe every teacher, therapist, and professional we entrust with our children have their best interests at heart, that's not always the case. 

Maybe they suffer from a lack of experience, or too much experience has left them jaded and discouraged. They may be dismissive and rude, or worse, they may be out to push their own agenda; blindly diagnosing children using a system that is flawed and outdated. 

2 years ago, we put our child into a program we hoped would help her succeed. While some wonderful things came out of that experience, she enjoyed school and learned to follow a routine, we did not get the results we hoped for, Communication was lacking and she just fell further behind. Feeling pushed to our breaking point, we enrolled her in her current school, who are pushing hard for an Autism diagnosis. 

Only one little problem with that.

Our daughter is not Autistic, this has been confirmed, and as she gets older, it's clear she does not have the typical characteristics of an Autistic child. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to begin working with Dr. Camarata out of Nashville Tennessee, who confirmed that a diagnosis of ASD is not appropriate. So why is her school pushing this???? 

I had an opportunity to observe her class and it made my heart hurt. These children are talked to like animals, in short one word orders, through gritted teeth. In those 20 minutes, my daughter was not acknowledged, never spoken to. 

I was appalled, my daughter needs words, she needs to hear speech. If this is what happens when parents are present....what about when the doors close?????? 

I sat in my car and cried, I feel like Im throwing my daughter to the wolves, a room full of teachers who refuse to believe my daughter is smart, that she can learn. 

They don't talk to her, how can she learn anything??? I feel like Im damned if I do, damned if I don't. She needs schooling, she needs that instruction, but our town lacks in basic resources for special needs students. 

If I pull her out, she's being robbed of opportunities I cannot provide. if I make the wrong choice and leave her in, we risk falling further behind. Time is not on our side here, the window of opportunity is quickly closing. 

As her mom, I feel like I stand alone. I just want to do whats best for her, but the best is never going to be good enough.