This stage of childhood is not my favorite.

I really dislike the toddler and early preschool stage of childhood.
There.
I said it.
Bash me. I dont care. I love my daughter. She is an amazing kid, she's funny and sweet....when she feels like it.
She follows directions...when it suits her. She has an attitude like her mother.
God help me.
Nothing I wouldn't do for this kid, but I have a full blown threenager (just turned 4 though) on my hands, minus the talking part, of course.
It's like dealing with a teeny tiny mental patient that I'm not legally allowed to put in a straight jacket. Flase enprisonment laws or some crap like that.
Here's the thing: You're not going to like every stage of your kids life.
I don't care if your house is pintrest perfect decorated, you make all your meals from unprocessed scratch made food, or if little Bronwin has mastered 3 languages, the cello, and is the first 2 year old accepted into the space program.
At some point, darling Bronwin is going to go through a stage that you won't be prepared for....that tests your limits...or just plain pisses you off.
Maybe its the baby stage. Those early days when they are so sweet and adorable and after 3 days of sleep deprivation you take your rage out on the cat and call him an ungrateful A-Hole.
Maybe your toddlers made you realize exactly why some species eat thier own offspring.
Or maybe you're reading this, and you have a teenager. A hygiene challenged, mouthy, sulky teen whom you still love, but would gladly punt over a fence right about now.
Ask my parents. My father made no secret, he thought it should be a law that all children should be shipped to an island at age 13 and left there until they developed back into humans. My mom seemed more tolerate during the teen years, but our whiny school age days seemed to push her buttons. Maybe my memory is foggy, but she seemed to have a lot less patience in those days, probably because she was dealing with 4 kids under 10. Yikes. No wonder.
The point is, It's ok not to adore every stage of their childhood.
It's even ok to wish they would just move on to the next stage already. We've been mired down in the terrible twos since she was 18 months old, and its just not showing any signs of stopping.
I'll be honest and say that my daughter and I spend more time at odds these days. Doesnt mean I love her less. Maybe I even love her more. It's easy to love someone when they're sweet and kind and amicable. Its during those dark days when she's pushed me to my breaking point, that I realize just how much I love her.
So if your struggling, if you're not oozing motherly goodness right now, it's ok.
Keep loving them, and remember, the old saying holds true, this too shall pass. And I truly believe we will miss these days, one day. My kid just dumped over the laundry basket...again. Maybe I wont miss it that much.

Real Mid-Week Meals for Working Moms

Ok, Moms....

I just spent 25 minutes trying to solve a common weeknight issue...... 

Typically, I get home from work around 6:30-6:45 in the evening. I have a hungry, tired preschooler who wants her mommy time, but is also in need of dinner, a bath, and some down time before getting to bed by 8:00 pm. 

I own a crockpot that would work out perfectly....if I ever remembered to actually turn it on in the morning. 

This never happens. Ever. So many Frozen meals go to waste in that crock pot, its ridiculous. 

I stress nightly over rushing home to start dinner, while my daughter clings to me like a lemur. 

My husband...bless him, his few attempts at cooking have ended in absolute disaster. I dont know if he just doesnt read the directions, or if he just isn't invested in a finished product because he'll eat anything, but the last time he made pasta, he overcooked it by a good 5 minutes, resulting in a pile of mush. 

Truth be told, after working all day, all I want is to sit and cuddle with her too. I dont want to stand over a hot stove, I want to sit and relax!!!!!!! 

So I fired up google and started searching for quick, easy meals that take under 15 minutes to cook. 

The internet is full of dinner ideas.....and they all suck. 

My first issue: Meals labeled "Family Friendly or Kid Approved". 

Ok, so maybe my kid is a picky eater, but I dont know many 4 year olds who will request a Brocolli Tortillini with a Quinoa Crust and a side of Asparagus. I did not even make that title up, it was under kid friendly 15 minute meals. Moving on.........

Recipes labeled "15 Minutes from Stove to Table"....leaving out the 30 minutes of prep time. 30+15=45....it takes 45 minutes. 

Finally, anything that contains the words "Hummus, Cous-Cous, Edamame, or Kobe Beef" is not going to be hanging out in my refridgerator. Nice try. 

So, as a real working mother of a preschooler, here is my list of ACTUAL 15 minute meals your kid might eat.

1. Scrambled Eggs with cheese

2. PB&J sandwich and apple slices

3. Spaghetti and Meatballs. They actually make frozen meatballs that dont suck. Check your labels for sodium content, but they do exist. 

4. Whole Grain Toaster Waffles: Endless possibilites. Top with Peanut Butter, Honey, Syrup, Fruit. 

5. Cheerios and Bananas

6. English Muffin or Bagel Pizza

7. Oatmeal with Cinnamon Sugar

8. Cheese Quesadillas

9. Roast Turkey and Cheese Roll Ups

10. Every kids favorite....Mac and Cheese. Our favorite brand is Annies, I buy it in bulk from Costco to knock the price down to roughly 1.00 a box. 

There you go. Maybe not the most original list. The point is, they will have full, happy tummys. And each meal can be made a little more healthy by making sure the bread is whole grain, using low fat dairy products and by adding a side of fruit like sliced strawberries, blueberries, raspberries. Or raw veggies like carrot sticks. Check your labels for the most healthy brand you can find, the least amount of sodium, and least ingrediants is always best. Try not to stress. Kids dont worry about fancy. Kids care that it tastes good, and most important, they want your time. 

Speaking of time, I'm putting this list on my fridge to remind myself that my time is better spent reading a book with my daughter, and not agonizing over the menu.

The Dirty Side of Parenting

Raise your hand if you've ever done and or said any variation of the following:

-Caught vomit in your hand. Because Soap and water is cheaper than replacing the carpet.
-Changed your poopy infant on an airline tray table. Airline turbulence and unsympathetic flight attendants. Enough said.
-Caught your child eating something in the store you didn't give them. And determine that, yes, yes they did in fact pick it up off the floor.
-Allowed your child to eat that something off the floor because it's already being chewed.
-Stuck your hand in their mouth to fish it out when you realized that's taking it a step too far.
-Wiped spit up/boogers/dirt with your own sleeve.
- "Is that CAT POOP in your mouth??????"
-"I didn't bring crackers, look in the seat for cheerios."
- After hours of rocking a cranky baby, those little eyes FINALLy shut....only to have her barf down your shirt. You weigh the risk of moving and waking the kid with the unpleasantness of sleeping in it. So you Houdini your way out of the soggy shirt and say screw it. True Story. 
-"Stop sticking your finger in the dogs butt. Just STOP...."
-"Why are you digging in your butt and sniffing your finger??? Who taught you that????"
-Accepted someone else's chewed up food being spat into your hand.
-Dug through poop to look for a swallowed marble.
-Wondered aloud how many days in a row its acceptable to dry shampoo your hair in place of actually showering.
-Skipped bath time and wiped them down with Baby wipes because its 7:55 and Grey's Anatomy is coming on. 
-"Dirt don't hurt. Eat it."
Face it ladies. Being a mom is gross. Its spit up, poop, vomit, dirt, grime,  followed by more spit up. At some point, even the neatest of the neat freaks among us sucumb to the level of picking our childs boogers in public. 
Go ahead and deny it.....and I will call you a filthy little  liar.
*Disclaimer* Only SOME of the above applies to my own life...

Raising a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart. 

You have to be tough, you have to be persistent, you have to be their voice and their advocate. 

As much as we like to believe every teacher, therapist, and professional we entrust with our children have their best interests at heart, that's not always the case. 

Maybe they suffer from a lack of experience, or too much experience has left them jaded and discouraged. They may be dismissive and rude, or worse, they may be out to push their own agenda; blindly diagnosing children using a system that is flawed and outdated. 

2 years ago, we put our child into a program we hoped would help her succeed. While some wonderful things came out of that experience, she enjoyed school and learned to follow a routine, we did not get the results we hoped for, Communication was lacking and she just fell further behind. Feeling pushed to our breaking point, we enrolled her in her current school, who are pushing hard for an Autism diagnosis. 

Only one little problem with that.

Our daughter is not Autistic, this has been confirmed, and as she gets older, it's clear she does not have the typical characteristics of an Autistic child. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to begin working with Dr. Camarata out of Nashville Tennessee, who confirmed that a diagnosis of ASD is not appropriate. So why is her school pushing this???? 

I had an opportunity to observe her class and it made my heart hurt. These children are talked to like animals, in short one word orders, through gritted teeth. In those 20 minutes, my daughter was not acknowledged, never spoken to. 

I was appalled, my daughter needs words, she needs to hear speech. If this is what happens when parents are present....what about when the doors close?????? 

I sat in my car and cried, I feel like Im throwing my daughter to the wolves, a room full of teachers who refuse to believe my daughter is smart, that she can learn. 

They don't talk to her, how can she learn anything??? I feel like Im damned if I do, damned if I don't. She needs schooling, she needs that instruction, but our town lacks in basic resources for special needs students. 

If I pull her out, she's being robbed of opportunities I cannot provide. if I make the wrong choice and leave her in, we risk falling further behind. Time is not on our side here, the window of opportunity is quickly closing. 

As her mom, I feel like I stand alone. I just want to do whats best for her, but the best is never going to be good enough.