Raise your hand if you've ever done and or said any variation of the following:
-Caught vomit in your hand. Because Soap and water is cheaper than replacing the carpet.
-Changed your poopy infant on an airline tray table. Airline turbulence and unsympathetic flight attendants. Enough said.
-Caught your child eating something in the store you didn't give them. And determine that, yes, yes they did in fact pick it up off the floor.
-Allowed your child to eat that something off the floor because it's already being chewed.
-Stuck your hand in their mouth to fish it out when you realized that's taking it a step too far.
-Wiped spit up/boogers/dirt with your own sleeve.
- "Is that CAT POOP in your mouth??????"
-"I didn't bring crackers, look in the seat for cheerios."
- After hours of rocking a cranky baby, those little eyes FINALLy shut....only to have her barf down your shirt. You weigh the risk of moving and waking the kid with the unpleasantness of sleeping in it. So you Houdini your way out of the soggy shirt and say screw it. True Story.
-"Stop sticking your finger in the dogs butt. Just STOP...."
-"Why are you digging in your butt and sniffing your finger??? Who taught you that????"
-Accepted someone else's chewed up food being spat into your hand.
-Dug through poop to look for a swallowed marble.
-Wondered aloud how many days in a row its acceptable to dry shampoo your hair in place of actually showering.
-Skipped bath time and wiped them down with Baby wipes because its 7:55 and Grey's Anatomy is coming on.
-"Dirt don't hurt. Eat it."
Face it ladies. Being a mom is gross. Its spit up, poop, vomit, dirt, grime, followed by more spit up. At some point, even the neatest of the neat freaks among us sucumb to the level of picking our childs boogers in public.
Go ahead and deny it.....and I will call you a filthy little liar.
*Disclaimer* Only SOME of the above applies to my own life...
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