This stage of childhood is not my favorite.

I really dislike the toddler and early preschool stage of childhood.
There.
I said it.
Bash me. I dont care. I love my daughter. She is an amazing kid, she's funny and sweet....when she feels like it.
She follows directions...when it suits her. She has an attitude like her mother.
God help me.
Nothing I wouldn't do for this kid, but I have a full blown threenager (just turned 4 though) on my hands, minus the talking part, of course.
It's like dealing with a teeny tiny mental patient that I'm not legally allowed to put in a straight jacket. Flase enprisonment laws or some crap like that.
Here's the thing: You're not going to like every stage of your kids life.
I don't care if your house is pintrest perfect decorated, you make all your meals from unprocessed scratch made food, or if little Bronwin has mastered 3 languages, the cello, and is the first 2 year old accepted into the space program.
At some point, darling Bronwin is going to go through a stage that you won't be prepared for....that tests your limits...or just plain pisses you off.
Maybe its the baby stage. Those early days when they are so sweet and adorable and after 3 days of sleep deprivation you take your rage out on the cat and call him an ungrateful A-Hole.
Maybe your toddlers made you realize exactly why some species eat thier own offspring.
Or maybe you're reading this, and you have a teenager. A hygiene challenged, mouthy, sulky teen whom you still love, but would gladly punt over a fence right about now.
Ask my parents. My father made no secret, he thought it should be a law that all children should be shipped to an island at age 13 and left there until they developed back into humans. My mom seemed more tolerate during the teen years, but our whiny school age days seemed to push her buttons. Maybe my memory is foggy, but she seemed to have a lot less patience in those days, probably because she was dealing with 4 kids under 10. Yikes. No wonder.
The point is, It's ok not to adore every stage of their childhood.
It's even ok to wish they would just move on to the next stage already. We've been mired down in the terrible twos since she was 18 months old, and its just not showing any signs of stopping.
I'll be honest and say that my daughter and I spend more time at odds these days. Doesnt mean I love her less. Maybe I even love her more. It's easy to love someone when they're sweet and kind and amicable. Its during those dark days when she's pushed me to my breaking point, that I realize just how much I love her.
So if your struggling, if you're not oozing motherly goodness right now, it's ok.
Keep loving them, and remember, the old saying holds true, this too shall pass. And I truly believe we will miss these days, one day. My kid just dumped over the laundry basket...again. Maybe I wont miss it that much.

Real Mid-Week Meals for Working Moms

Ok, Moms....

I just spent 25 minutes trying to solve a common weeknight issue...... 

Typically, I get home from work around 6:30-6:45 in the evening. I have a hungry, tired preschooler who wants her mommy time, but is also in need of dinner, a bath, and some down time before getting to bed by 8:00 pm. 

I own a crockpot that would work out perfectly....if I ever remembered to actually turn it on in the morning. 

This never happens. Ever. So many Frozen meals go to waste in that crock pot, its ridiculous. 

I stress nightly over rushing home to start dinner, while my daughter clings to me like a lemur. 

My husband...bless him, his few attempts at cooking have ended in absolute disaster. I dont know if he just doesnt read the directions, or if he just isn't invested in a finished product because he'll eat anything, but the last time he made pasta, he overcooked it by a good 5 minutes, resulting in a pile of mush. 

Truth be told, after working all day, all I want is to sit and cuddle with her too. I dont want to stand over a hot stove, I want to sit and relax!!!!!!! 

So I fired up google and started searching for quick, easy meals that take under 15 minutes to cook. 

The internet is full of dinner ideas.....and they all suck. 

My first issue: Meals labeled "Family Friendly or Kid Approved". 

Ok, so maybe my kid is a picky eater, but I dont know many 4 year olds who will request a Brocolli Tortillini with a Quinoa Crust and a side of Asparagus. I did not even make that title up, it was under kid friendly 15 minute meals. Moving on.........

Recipes labeled "15 Minutes from Stove to Table"....leaving out the 30 minutes of prep time. 30+15=45....it takes 45 minutes. 

Finally, anything that contains the words "Hummus, Cous-Cous, Edamame, or Kobe Beef" is not going to be hanging out in my refridgerator. Nice try. 

So, as a real working mother of a preschooler, here is my list of ACTUAL 15 minute meals your kid might eat.

1. Scrambled Eggs with cheese

2. PB&J sandwich and apple slices

3. Spaghetti and Meatballs. They actually make frozen meatballs that dont suck. Check your labels for sodium content, but they do exist. 

4. Whole Grain Toaster Waffles: Endless possibilites. Top with Peanut Butter, Honey, Syrup, Fruit. 

5. Cheerios and Bananas

6. English Muffin or Bagel Pizza

7. Oatmeal with Cinnamon Sugar

8. Cheese Quesadillas

9. Roast Turkey and Cheese Roll Ups

10. Every kids favorite....Mac and Cheese. Our favorite brand is Annies, I buy it in bulk from Costco to knock the price down to roughly 1.00 a box. 

There you go. Maybe not the most original list. The point is, they will have full, happy tummys. And each meal can be made a little more healthy by making sure the bread is whole grain, using low fat dairy products and by adding a side of fruit like sliced strawberries, blueberries, raspberries. Or raw veggies like carrot sticks. Check your labels for the most healthy brand you can find, the least amount of sodium, and least ingrediants is always best. Try not to stress. Kids dont worry about fancy. Kids care that it tastes good, and most important, they want your time. 

Speaking of time, I'm putting this list on my fridge to remind myself that my time is better spent reading a book with my daughter, and not agonizing over the menu.

The Dirty Side of Parenting

Raise your hand if you've ever done and or said any variation of the following:

-Caught vomit in your hand. Because Soap and water is cheaper than replacing the carpet.
-Changed your poopy infant on an airline tray table. Airline turbulence and unsympathetic flight attendants. Enough said.
-Caught your child eating something in the store you didn't give them. And determine that, yes, yes they did in fact pick it up off the floor.
-Allowed your child to eat that something off the floor because it's already being chewed.
-Stuck your hand in their mouth to fish it out when you realized that's taking it a step too far.
-Wiped spit up/boogers/dirt with your own sleeve.
- "Is that CAT POOP in your mouth??????"
-"I didn't bring crackers, look in the seat for cheerios."
- After hours of rocking a cranky baby, those little eyes FINALLy shut....only to have her barf down your shirt. You weigh the risk of moving and waking the kid with the unpleasantness of sleeping in it. So you Houdini your way out of the soggy shirt and say screw it. True Story. 
-"Stop sticking your finger in the dogs butt. Just STOP...."
-"Why are you digging in your butt and sniffing your finger??? Who taught you that????"
-Accepted someone else's chewed up food being spat into your hand.
-Dug through poop to look for a swallowed marble.
-Wondered aloud how many days in a row its acceptable to dry shampoo your hair in place of actually showering.
-Skipped bath time and wiped them down with Baby wipes because its 7:55 and Grey's Anatomy is coming on. 
-"Dirt don't hurt. Eat it."
Face it ladies. Being a mom is gross. Its spit up, poop, vomit, dirt, grime,  followed by more spit up. At some point, even the neatest of the neat freaks among us sucumb to the level of picking our childs boogers in public. 
Go ahead and deny it.....and I will call you a filthy little  liar.
*Disclaimer* Only SOME of the above applies to my own life...

Raising a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart. 

You have to be tough, you have to be persistent, you have to be their voice and their advocate. 

As much as we like to believe every teacher, therapist, and professional we entrust with our children have their best interests at heart, that's not always the case. 

Maybe they suffer from a lack of experience, or too much experience has left them jaded and discouraged. They may be dismissive and rude, or worse, they may be out to push their own agenda; blindly diagnosing children using a system that is flawed and outdated. 

2 years ago, we put our child into a program we hoped would help her succeed. While some wonderful things came out of that experience, she enjoyed school and learned to follow a routine, we did not get the results we hoped for, Communication was lacking and she just fell further behind. Feeling pushed to our breaking point, we enrolled her in her current school, who are pushing hard for an Autism diagnosis. 

Only one little problem with that.

Our daughter is not Autistic, this has been confirmed, and as she gets older, it's clear she does not have the typical characteristics of an Autistic child. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to begin working with Dr. Camarata out of Nashville Tennessee, who confirmed that a diagnosis of ASD is not appropriate. So why is her school pushing this???? 

I had an opportunity to observe her class and it made my heart hurt. These children are talked to like animals, in short one word orders, through gritted teeth. In those 20 minutes, my daughter was not acknowledged, never spoken to. 

I was appalled, my daughter needs words, she needs to hear speech. If this is what happens when parents are present....what about when the doors close?????? 

I sat in my car and cried, I feel like Im throwing my daughter to the wolves, a room full of teachers who refuse to believe my daughter is smart, that she can learn. 

They don't talk to her, how can she learn anything??? I feel like Im damned if I do, damned if I don't. She needs schooling, she needs that instruction, but our town lacks in basic resources for special needs students. 

If I pull her out, she's being robbed of opportunities I cannot provide. if I make the wrong choice and leave her in, we risk falling further behind. Time is not on our side here, the window of opportunity is quickly closing. 

As her mom, I feel like I stand alone. I just want to do whats best for her, but the best is never going to be good enough. 

Sharpie Madness

For some reason science and logic have yet to explain, I, as a parent, can never locate a writing utensil when I need one. I've tried drawer organizers, pencil holders, I even splurged online and bought a magnetized pen holder for the refrigerator. Still, it's inevitable, just when Im on the phone, having to take down an important number, not a pen or pencil to be found.
What I really need is to find out what kind of device my daughter, L,  posesses within her little 4 year old fingers that attracts pens like a magnet. Because while I can't find a stub of a broken crayon, L has a working knowledge of every area in this house that hides a tube of inky mass destruction.
Perfect Example:
This afternoon, I stopped her just as she was preparing, ink pen in her chubby fist, to redecorate her room. I put the pen up, left for work, leaving her with my sister, confident my walls were safe.
Clearly, 4 years as a mom have taught me nothing.
When I returned home, I was informed that a hurricane had hit the house...a Category L as my husband calls it. Clever.
L had found not one, but TWO sharpie markers, and decided to give our wall, part of her dresser, our room, and herself the ol' Picasso treatment. I'll give her this much, she is thorough and she's quick.
I had a late meeting, so I have yet to see the damage to her room, or her face. My sister said its just a little marker......permanent marker.....right across her face.
Did I mention school picture day is tomorrow?

Moms Hurricane Supply List

In the event of a hurricane, whether or not you evacuate, it's important to have certain supplies on hand. As a mom, it's your job to fight the hysterical masses for the last loaf of bread and a pack of double A batteries.
Now, we live in North Carolina where the typical reaction to a Hurricane is "Meh....add an extra loaf of bread to the cart, maybe pick up some wine."
So seeing the shelves bare, not a Durecell or a loaf of Sunbeam to be found, let's me know seasoned Southerns are taking this seriously, therefore I as a Northern transplant should completely lose it, right???? Its the same reaction you see when the south gets a snow dusting."DEFCON 5!!!!!!!! We've got flakes people....it's sticking to the ground!!!!!!! Buy all the bread....all of it!!!!!!!"
Sorry Southerns, I couldn't help poking a little fun.
I get it, you're not used to snow, I'm still not comfortable with 130 mph winds and the potential risk of being hit by a flying mailbox.
Anyway, whether you're a seasoned pro or this is your first hurricane, here are some supplies you should have in your emergency kit.
Enough Non perishable food to last 3-4 days. This is not the time to go organic people, this is whats going to keep your kids happy for the next 2 days of being stuck indoors. Think Chef Boyardee, cookies, chips, sandwiches, anything that doesn't need to be heated. And for crying out loud....make sure you have a hand held can opener. Last time we had a hurricane, we lost power, I went to open a can of soup only to find, surprisingly, an electric can opener is pretty much useless.
Bottled Water- Dasani has quite the racket going, let me tell you. Seriously, save your milk jugs and fill them with tap water. Enough water to drink, wash, and sanitize. I don't know the ratio of water jugs to humans and I'm too lazy to google it. Look it up.
Batteries- Every toy in your house has one, and you won't be using the television just steal the remote batteries.
Flashlights-The main purpose for these is so your kids can play laser tag and burn them out in the first hour.
Candles-We have 3 children under 4, two of whom make it their mission to climb the most vertical surfaces in the house, we'll use candles when I want to have a panic attack.
Games and activities for the kids-These last precisely 15 minutes. Before  you lose power, mega charge every electronic device you own, and keep it plugged in as long as its safe. Trust me on this one.
Clean up around your yard and secure items that may blow away-Kick the Fisher Price crap into the shed. Full disclosure, still not sure what we are going to do with our trampoline, if anyone knows how to secure that sucker, please let me know. On an unrelated note, our neighbors may be gifted a trampoline this weekend, just a heads up.
Weather Forecast-check the weather frequently...so they can give you the same update 20 times in a row, and spend an entire episode of General Hospital explaining exactly how slowly a hurricane works....here's a hint..... it's windy, soggy, and loud.
Alcohol-This is not required, just recommended. A good rule of thumb, take the number of children in your home times the number of days you estimate being confined and multiply it. So 3 kids X 3days=9 bottles of wine. That should do it. Aso, maybe look up the number for your local A.A.
Oh, That reminds me. Medication. In addition to any Rx medications, stock up on Tylenol. If you have children and you're not down with self medicating with Alcohol, you'll need it. If you are, you'll need it for the hangover.
In all seriousness, If you're currently in the path of Hurricane Matthew I bid you farewell until the Internet is reconnected and wish you and yours a safe weekend, stay dry, love each other, take the time to reconnect. Play a board game with your little ones, snuggle up with a book, tell stories, munch on some junk food, spend some romantic time with your spouse (hurricanes cover up noise...Hee Hee). Hugs to all, and remember, stay away from downed power lines!!!!!!!!!

Why I'm a member of the One and done club (for now)

I always saw myself having a house full of babies, until I gave birth to my daughter. As she neared her first birthday, the inevitable questions started from friends about adding to our family. I reasoned that I never planned to have children close in age. As she passed her second and third birthdays, and as we approach her fourth, that explanantion no longer satisfies the curious. 
My explanantion now is simple: we are not planning any additions. It doesn't mean it's impossible a few years down the road, but for now, we are perfectly happy with our small family of three. Our daughter is past the infant and toddler stage, the diapers are long gone, replaced by preschool book bags. No more sleepless nights, we now get adorable wake up calls and snuggly mornings. 
This past summer, we were blessed to have my sister and her two small children stay with us while her husband pursues a career in the military.  J who is 2, and lil L, who is 10 months, are adorable and sweet. They are also a good example of why im putting off baby number two as long as possible. 
My sister is super mom, handling both children's needs and demands like a pro. No easy task, considering one is in the dreaded terrible twos and the other is a newly mobile infant bent on conquering everything obstacle in her path. 
I have no such talent, barely able to keep up with my one preschooler, I shudder to think of adding the demands of a tiny infant. 
I've loved the opportunity to spend time with my sister, and my nephew and niece. As they prepare to leave, I know it may be a long time before they are in our neck of the woods again. I'm soaking up all the baby and toddler cuddles, and hopefully get any lingering desires for another out of my system. And if that doesn't work, I just remind myself that the difference 
between having one child and three:

MEALTIMES: One Child: Family Dinners at the table in which you have time to model manners for your child.
Three Children: We no longer have a  table, there wasn't room for all the high chairs. We now have a Finding Dory Kiddie table. Mealtime has become a game of Chase and duck. 

TRAVELING: One Child: want to Go for a drive, just snap and go,,maybe a change of clothes if you're still toilet training.
Three Children: Pack half the house, and while you strap one child in, lose track of the other. Cram everything in the car. Drive ten feet. And screech to a halt as you realize something was inevitably left behind. As long as it's not the infant on the roof of your car, you're in good shape.

BEDTIME:
One Child: If you're lucky, Snuggling, several books, and time to yourself once lights go out.
Three Children: Bedtime has become,a tag team sport that usually ends with one child passed out on the sofa, one parent crammed into a princess toddler bed, and other left to clean up the kitchen, and scrap the mashed potatoes off dorys face.  (see mealtimes)

SHOWERING:
One Child: if you're lucky, they take a long enough nap for you to body shower. 
Three Children: Forget it. If you want to shower, you better embrace your inner feline and lick yourself clean.

FINANCIAL:
One Child: Even if you're not rich an only child is bound to get more advantages when the families income isn't spread out amongst 4 siblings.
Three Children: Money? Isn't that the paper stuff we used to use to...whats that called? Purchase things besides diapers? 

VACATIONS:

One Child: Once they are old enough, Vacations can be a  a wonderful bonding experience.
Three Children: Combine all of the above, but add in 3 hours on a plane, a complete lack of daily routine, and seldom seen grandparents who can't help but over indulge those "little angels", and you'll understand why the phrase family vacation is right up there with "preschool acceptance letter, it's just a viral infection, and when are you having another " as the most despised phrases in parent world.

Seriously, love these babies and thumbs up to my sister for her super mom skills, and her desire for more.

For now, I will remain member of the one and done club. And if I ever decide to leave, I'll know who to turn to for advice. 

To my Sister, one of the best moms I know, we will miss you all and wish you the best in this new journey.