Every parent hopes and prays for the same thing; a child who's normal, not being left behind by his peers, not so far ahead he feels isolated, but right in between. So it's difficult when your child's doctor says that something may not be 100% normal about your child.
My daughter, L, was born about a month early weighing 5 lbs, considered a late preemie, she spent just enough time in the NI-CU to be assessed, and they sent her back to us, very small but otherwise healthy. However, we have still spent the last year and a half facing the struggles any preemie parent knows all too well: it started in the hospital when they suddenly needed to scan her kidneys for a possible defect, then came the acid re flux, the lack of weight gain, RSV, a trip to children's hospital to rule out Craniosynotosis, 2 surgeries for tubes to prevent ear infections. We are gearing up for her sixth hearing test; each one has come back different, running the gamut from significant hearing loss to slight hearing loss in one or both ears.
Luckily, we had seemed to turn a corner in the past few months. During her 18 month check up, L was given a clean bill of health, but still measuring in the just the 3rd to 5th percentile in height and weight.
Within a few hours I had a phone call from L's pediatrician; I had filled out forms regarding L's developmental milestones, called the M-CHAT evaluation. Basically, it helps measures your child's possibility of having developmental delays, most specifically Autism Spectrum disorder, hearing loss, and any physical delays. If your child's score is low, they send you for further testing at a clinic. L passed in the physical milestone category, but in speech and socialization, she needs further evaluation.
My first thought was to break down, but then realized I wasn't surprised. I've noticed L is behind other kids her age. She's not much of a talker, she shows little interest in toys, and recently started flapping her hands in front of her face. I know she can hear at least to some extent, because she will turn her head towards loud noises, but she has yet to answer to her own name. She has started having night terrors almost every night, and started hitting and biting herself violently when she gets upset or frustrated.
As a parent, you want what's best for your child. Our first instinct was to pray for God to make this "turn" in our favor, but we checked ourselves quickly. God knows L, He made her, and whatever way He made her, we have no right to ask Him to change her. Instead, we prayed for His will, for the strength to help her, to help us be the parents we need to be for her. God never promised we wouldn't have trials, but that through those trials we will be stronger if we put our faith and trust solely in Him. "For we can rejoice too, when we have problems, and trials, for we know that they build endurance!" Romans 5:3
With almost two weeks until her evaluation, we're working with her, but in the long run, it doesn't matter what we do, because she will be who she is regardless. If she has hearing loss, or a developmental delay, or if she was to be on the Autism Spectrum, I will still love her more and more every day. Whatever it is, or isn't, it makes L who she is, and who she is is this funny, amazing, sweet kid. She loves to play in the mirror, and try on hats, loves spending time with her grandparents. She'll eat spaghetti for every meal if we let her. Her favorite place is always outside, getting just as dirty as possible. She's my baby, my miracle and whatever waits for us around the corner, we're going to face it head on. The Lord has this handled, he knows what's in store for us, and we WILL PRAISE HIM, no matter the outcome!!!! " Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus!" 1 Thessalonians 5:18
No comments:
Post a Comment