Step 1. Look online for design ideas. Pinterest is a good place to start looking............hahahahaha!!!
Step 2. Skip Pinterest. Just pay the money for the overpriced crappy kit. Trust me. Those creations on line were created by No mom anywhere ever, and you'll end up with the kit anyway.
Warning *You may see this as a fun activity for you and your children; they see an excuse to eat the candy. If you had any illusions of your children dazzling you with their artist skills, just throw the kit directly into the trash. If not, proceed to Step 3*
Step 3. Unwrap your kit. Several pieces will be broken, maybe even in crumbs. This is totally fixable.
Step 4. Read the instructions....yeah those are zero help, just start piping icing randomly onto pieces and smashing them together until something sticks.
Step 5. Search for a missing piece. Realize your toddler ate it.
Step 6. Cobble together the remaining pieces
Step 7. By now, your Gingerbread House should look like something resembling a house. Bonus points if its actually standing. It's leaning slightly to the left......oh, nope, wait, make that falling to the left. Pick it up, and squish it back together.
Step 8. Moving on to decorating, really the only reason your kids have stood around for an hour watching you play amateur architect. This mutated candy will not stick to anything. Not the icing, not the cookie, nothing. Resist the urge to use glue unless you want your kids to ingest it.
Step 9. Make decorating suggestions your children completely ignore while they shove gumdrops in the chimney.
Step 10. Your Gingerbread House is complete. It looks less Candy Land and more Drug Den, but the point is its up.
Step 11. Your kids will have picked off all the candy by the next day, so this monstrosity will sit and dry out until it gets eaten by your cat, or possibly a colony of ants if your having a freakishly warm winter.
Step 12. Realize this pain the butt project was TOTALLY worth seeing your kids laugh at your feeble attempts to create art out of food. They would have been thrilled if you just handed them the kit and fork, but despite your saying "Never Again!" you're so doing this again next year.
Merry Christmas!!!
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